“No Disrespect Grandma, But Let Him Be”

That night, after the kids were in bed, my husband and I talked. He told me that his mom didn’t mean to cause any harm, but I explained that’s where the problem lies. Eli was sensitive, and I was worried that he might start to believe there was something wrong with the sound of his voice, the things he enjoyed, or even the clothes he wore. My husband took a moment to consider my words, then admitted I was right. He said he would need to talk to his mom. While I was glad he agreed, I also knew that for her, change would be a slow and difficult process. She was from “a different time,” as the saying goes, but that didn’t lessen the impact of her words on a small child.

In the days that followed, a noticeable change came over Eli. He became quieter. The funny character voices he used to love and the silly songs he would sing while I was cooking were gone. He was no longer the noisy, happy presence in the house. Even Mira noticed, whispering to me one night, “‘He doesn’t do his voices anymore. I think Grandma hurt his feelings.’” My heart ached for him. One single comment had deeply affected my little boy.

The next morning, I sat with Eli and told him how much I missed his lion voice. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, “‘But Grandma said I sound like a girl.’” I held him close and assured him that she was wrong. “‘You sound like you. And that’s perfect,’” I told him. He didn’t say anything, but he leaned into my hug.

Continue READING