“No Disrespect Grandma, But Let Him Be”

That evening, I knew I had to act. I couldn’t allow a careless sentence to damage my son’s self-esteem. I called my mother-in-law and, after a few pleasantries, told her what had happened. She was surprised and regretful, saying she didn’t realize how much her words had affected him. I explained that at four years old, everything an adult says goes deep. I told her I knew she loved him, but that her words had made him feel ashamed. I gently asked her to talk to him, to let him know he was loved and perfect just as he was. She agreed to come over the next day.

She arrived with cookies and a gentle smile. She knelt down to Eli’s level and apologized, telling him his voice was “wonderful” and that he was “just perfect the way you are.” Eli, who had been shy at first, finally smiled. It was a small moment, not a big dramatic one, but it was important. The next day, Eli was back to his happy self, doing his animal voices with renewed joy. It felt like a win, but I knew our journey wasn’t over.

A few weeks later, Mira came home upset from school. Some children had told Eli he couldn’t wear his sparkly pink sneakers. My husband suggested we have Eli pick out different shoes to make things “easier,” but I knew that wasn’t the right answer. We would be teaching him to hide who he was for the approval of others. I insisted that he had the right to wear the shoes he loved, and that we would support him. My husband eventually agreed.

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